my professor's grading system genuinely makes no sense to me LMAO
so in my intro to software engineering class my grade has steadily been climbing higher and higher for each phase of the class project, right. the way my professor does it is that we do our part with our teammates (and we're down to three of us because the two others just stopped interacting with us at all) and then he meets individually with each team to a) see what the team has to demo for him at that point in the project and b) question each team member on things regarding the project. and he's got a pretty good curve on his grading scale so i wasn't too worried about the low grades we were getting at first (low in general, high for the class. on the first phase my team got a 51/100 and we were like the highest grade in the class for that section) but i will say that i have consistently done absolutely dogshit on the individual question portions (where he singles us out) because he keeps asking me questions that catch me off-guard, right.
and like i'm not being self-deprecating or anything i'm well aware that i stumble over my words (and my wording) because i've got a brain that completely shits itself when something goes "off-script" and barely wants to pay attention to things it doesn't find interesting on a good day. he asked me questions i wasn't prepared for in both the meetings we've had so far and i completely fumbled the interaction. like, audibly. went dead silent at one point because i short-circuited and he had to guide me through what he actually wanted me to respond with. and i KNOW that the individual meetings count towards part of the grade. So tell me how in the actual hell i made a 100% on this phase of the project. TELL me. genuinely baffling. i talked with one of my other teammates and she made a 98% despite her interaction with him being put together, coherent, and professional as fuck. the math isn't mathing. HOW did i get a 100% and she got docked two points???? and i scored higher than both my other teammates on the last project phase too (i made a 79%, they made like 74% & 75%) AND IT'S LIKE ??????? HOW. HOWWWWWW. Like i'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth but what the fuck even is his grading man (he's literally known as the single harshest professor in the department in terms of grading, multiple students not in our team have already had to drop the class because he was giving them grades in previous phases like 15%, 39%, 49%, etc.). This guy is the type of guy who has almost a hundred ratings on ratemyprofessor going "DO NOT TAKE THIS MAN'S CLASS" and he actually gave our team a compliment????? During our team meeting session??????? INSANE NEVER DONE BEFORE. HOW DID I MAKE A 100% BRO I DON'T UNDERSTAND
Broken public health appointment system part 3
So that was Monday, and I called at 8:05 (5 minutes after opening) and put my message in their automatic callback queue. I didn't get called until after 11:00 and I could hear the receptionist's voice trembling with stress as she tried to gently and politely apologize because "It was so good that you called at eight, but unfortunately all the doctor slots were already full again!"
She asked again how soon I will run out of meds, and since I will not run out in the next two weeks, she told me to try calling back at eight am again on December first.
!!!!!!!
"Really really sorry, it's so unfortunate."
"Well, it's not your fault, I know," I said.
"Even so... yeah."
So. Two weeks. If I call at 8 on the dot, maybe I'll be early enough in the queue... or maybe I can't get an appointment until I'm about to run out and they therefore have to promote me to the 'urgent' (or semi-urgent) queue.
Wow... I'm so mad about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember that this was actually my third call because the first time I didn't call on the Appointment Day at all and had to be redirected (but unfortunately, even though she said they might fill up, I didn't realize it was like, CALL WITHIN FIVE MINUTES).
Seperate, A Twisted Wonderland Drabble
Characters/Pairing: Azul/Deuce
Warnings: A suggestive line at the end, but nothing major
Notes: None
Summary: Jade and Floyd find out about Azul's new relationship.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70696601/chapters/194529961
Alphabet Meme
Rules: How many letters of the alphabet have you used for starting a fanwork title? One fanwork per line, ‘A’ and 'The’ do not count for 'a’ and ’t’. Post your score out of 26 at the end, along with your total works count.
A: And I still wonder if you notice me (Masters of the Air, Harry/Rosie)
B: Botanical Abomination (Roswell New Mexico, Max/Kyle/Liz)
C: Caught in the Rain (Masters of the Air, Buck/Bucky)
D: Drew the Line Right Through You (Roswell New Mexico, Kyle/Max)
E: Escaping Eros (The Expanse TV, Alex/Amos)
F: Fever When You Hold Me Tight (The Boys in the Boat, Don/Bobby)
G: Gods of Virility (Supernatural, Dean/Sam)
H: Hesitation Dribble (Watcher RPF, Shane/Ryan)
I: Intertwined by Circumstance (Roswell New Mexico, Max/Kyle/Liz)
J: Just for Tonight (Masters of the Air, Bucky/Rosie)
K: Keeping Tahoe Blue-ish (Watcher RPF, Shane/Ryan)
L: Like New Again (Dead Boy Detectives, Jenny & Monty)
M: Marking the Occasion (Band of Brothers, Johnny/Bull)
N: Not a Competition (Teen Wolf, Scott/Isaac/Stiles)
O: On the Edge of a Blade (MCU, Bucky/Natasha)
P: promise I'll be gentle (Hades game, Zagreus/Thanatos)
Q~
R: Real Life (MCU, Steve/Tony)
S: Snowfall Kind of Girl (Roswell, Maria/Michael)
T: Two Knives, Two Secrets (Dune movies, Feyd-Rautha/Paul)
U: Unable to Withstand Them (Roswell New Mexico, Pod Squad gen)
V: Viable Excuse (Roswell New Mexico, Max/Kyle)
W: Warning Signs (Teen Wolf, implied Stiles/Allison)
X~
Y: you kiss me like you want it, how rude (Generation Kill, Brad/Nate)
Z~
23/26. I have 362 works on AO3. I actually had a lot of W and P titles, which I did not expect. I think 'x' is difficult unless I name a fic X marks the spot?? I could probably come up with titles for the other two letters.
Creatively Describe your Employment History
Childcare Lackey
Unpaid Tutor
Freelance Prankster
Librarian’s Assistant (volunteer)
File Clerk
Fried Chicken Distributor
Magic the Gathering Referee / Comic Salesperson
Cancer Care Volunteer
Coffee Slinger
Sword Shop Assistant
Call Center Wage Monkey
Copying Machine Slavey
Professional Person-Rubber
Volunteer Phone-Banker
Bath Product Artisan
Professional Nose
Short-Lived Booth Babe
Scientific Interviewee
Server Maintenance Codemonkey
QUILTBAG Community Moderator (unpaid)
Autism Research Autodidact (unpaid)
Business Criticizer
This is roughly chronological? But y’all know how my memory do.
Link dump
A primer on metacognitions / ways of thinking that prop up white supremacy culture
Existential Processing Delay
Black Neurodiversity, - "Explore the intersection of neurodiversity and disability justice. Understand how factors like race, age, and gender influence neurodivergent experiences. Join our interactive 2-hour workshop and receive materials for immersive learning."
Neurocomplex Lifespan Model: "Gifted Kid to Autistic and/or ADHDer Adult (in Burnout)
A complex visual model of the path from “Gifted Kid” to late(r) in life identified Autistic and/or ADHDer. Considering school, work, relationships, gender, sexuality, mental & physical health."
Moral Scrupulosity OCD - "I followed every rule. I apologized when no one asked me to. I replayed conversations endlessly, scanning them for harm I might have caused. If I could just make sure I never hurt anyone, then everything would be okay."
“Mapping Your Emotional Floor Plan:
A comic by Erika Moen based on Come Together
Even an amazing cartoonist known for communicating sex ed and talking about her own life found mapping her Emotional Floor Plan challenging – maybe this will help you do yours!”
Stoat.chat - a possible chat program to move to if Discord starts sharing data with police/ICE now that their TOS doesn't explicitly forbid it.
Oncology Massage - link for me to read soon.
GLP drugs might have neuroprotective effects? GDI now I have to do a bunch of research, with finals coming up. - Glucagon-like peptide-1 (GLP-1) receptor agonists and neuroinflammation: implications for neurodegenerative disease treatment
Endocrine-Disrupting Effects of Salicylate Preservatives on Neurosteroidogenesis: Targeting 5α-Reductase Type 1 I have dry skin AND work with my hands in lotion all day, so this link is more relevant to me than to most. But salicylate preservatives are in a lot of stuff we put on and in our bodies, and they can apparently be endocrine disruptors.
Lakota Made Products - Tezi Tea - for Mom, possibly? As she gets older, her digestion is not always as regular as it could be.
Update
But since then I’ve had decent Indian food, gotten to talk to some of my emotional support humans, and crafted a knitted, beaded necklace (called the Gatsby necklace) in silk yarn for a friend. Self care levels are at nine/10. And some friends are shipping me out for a vacation in the frosty PNW after graduation, and then I will be laying on a floor in a stupor while my brain heals. Like one does.
Next week I will be studying for the pathology exam and the all-courses comprehensive exam and making ALL THE FLASH CARDS! Which I still find annoying as shit, but it is whatever. Soon. Soon this will be done.
[edit to add: I got a 96. They didn’t even notice the thing about missing the medication.]
The sun was not up at 7:00
I don't know how much of the day I have to wait for a call back from the health center, though, so I will have to leave to take the call at some point.
Recent reading
What Fresh Hell Is This? by Heather Corinna (2021)
About perimenopause and menopause. Well, I guess I learned things? It did all feel like a huge and intimidating list of possible symptoms to get, and I don't know yet how it'll shake out for me. But I guess one advantage of knowing what's possible is that it will help me connect the dots when/if various things do happen.
A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel by K J Charles (2023)
Hmm, hm. Meh. I thought I'd try something that's supposed to be self-indulgent, and this was certainly page-turney enough, but did not really zing for me. I can't tell if it's just that my reading is still far from my previous baseline, or whether this would not have been my favorite Charles in any case. Somehow I could not keep from comparing this to others of her books and seeing commonalities in the types of characters and relationships she often writes, and thus not being entirely able to see the characters as people of their own.
Not a book, but I thought the blog series Life, Work, Death, and the Peasant by the historian Bret Deveraux was interesting. It models the life and labor of pre-modern peasants, using sources from ancient Rome and medieval Europe. And I do mean modeling, trying to estimate such things as the number of pregnancies a woman would have on average, and the number of hours worked on various tasks. It really hammers home that while yes, I do live on a farm now, and I do over time want to try to produce more of the food we eat, there is so much labor pre-modern peasants did that I don't have to do. The amount of time women spent on textile production (mostly spinning) is unbelievable. And I didn't know the medieval spinning wheel is about three times more productive than the spindle of antiquity! Carrying water (back-breaking work!), washing by hand, etc. Obviously I knew people did these things by hand, but it's so interesting seeing estimates of the time it took.
I do think modern civilization is hugely wasteful of energy and materials, but can we not find some appropriate level of energy use and technology? Pumping water for household use, and spinning thread with machines: yes, great use of energy and technology. \o/ Mining bitcoins: nope, terrible use of energy and technology. /o\
Fic: Botanical Abomination (Roswell NM)
Pairing: Max/Liz/Kyle
Rated: Teen
Word Count: 2,295
Summary: A killer alien plant shows up in Max's yard right when Liz is trying to work out how she feels about Kyle.
A/N: I started this for
Fic on AO3
( Fic under here )
Tech adaptation.
Also of note, though much less pleasant, was having to bear through a couple anxiety spikes. It's been a while and I'm out of practice with them, and I haven't forgotten how they keep lingering. I hope it's all gone by tomorrow.
A Covert Operation, A Twisted Wonderland fic, Chapter 1
Characters/Pairing: Ace/Deuce
Warnings: Eventual Smut, but not until chapter 3. This chapter is just Ace thinking about Deuce's muscles
Notes: Inspired by how buff Deuce is in his Liongarb card
Summary: A conversation about Deuce's muscles inspires Ace to do a little investigation.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74258526/chapters/193799686
Feral States, A Twisted Wonderland Fanfic, Chapter 1
Characters/Pairing: Jade/Deuce
Warnings: Noncon, Mating Cycles, Interspecies sex, Anal sex, Hand jobs, Imprinting, Bondage, Water Sex, Near Drowning (seriously read all the tags
Notes: Posting something a little out of my comfort zone
Summary: Deuce visits the lake for a homework assignment and runs into Jade Leech at the wrong time.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74072306/chapters/193249456